There has been a slew of actions and behaviors that depict God in ways that are far from His character. That is the result of misconceptions of who God is, based on religious doctrines. The one true God has nothing to do with religion, which is man-made. He is interested in developing a personal (one-on-one relationship with each of us. Some of His characteristics include being patient, good, faithful, and loving etc. In terms of loving, God IS love; He is love personified. As stated in Corinthians 13: “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” For an even better perspective, replace the word love with God: “…God is patient. God is kind… God does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth…” Any words, attitudes or actions that deviate from that does not represent God in any way, shape or form. When you see people mistreat, demean or engage in/support unjust laws, while professing some religious concepts, please know this is not coming from God’s perspective. It’s simply canting individuals who are attempting to justify dismissive, unjust and illegal behaviors through religion, which (again) has nothing to do with God. He actually encourages us to not forget the poor and love our neighbors as ourselves, among others. Clearly, anything that promotes hate, disparages, and entices inequality is not a reflection of who The One true God is.
I must admit, in all truthfulness, I get frustrated to no end when people use God’s name to do such evil as prejudice, haughty behaviors, or condemning those who deserve the same amount of grace as anyone else. It bothers me, because such behaviors (done under the umbrella of religion) mis-characterize God in a way that can be off-putting to anyone who attributes religion with God. Everybody has the right to adhere to whatever views with which they identify the most. However, utilizing God’s name as a culprit to justify such views is a downright disrespect to the name and true nature of God. The true God, whom I came to know, loves everybody. He wants the best for everyone, regardless of their background. It is time to distinguish between man-made religion and God Himself.

On the other hand, it is scary to see how easily people can be bamboozled into accepting and defending things that would normally be appalling to them. It mirrors what happened in a popular movie, where a group of individuals witnessed a leader shoot another person in the room. However, when they came out of that boardroom, they recounted a completely different scenario, while praising the one who shot the victim. In light of the current events in our world, it is crucial to have a discerning spirit to accurately decipher good from evil. God’s name has been audaciously used for personal agendas, while defending acts of injustice.
God might have been mis-characterized; but His true character, which is summarized by love itself, will always be in contradiction with that which portrays the opposite of love.

The one true God loves everybody and abhors evil. Hence, the reason He sent Jesus to die a brutal death for our sake. It would be best to find out for yourself who This Savior is, as opposed to misrepresentations of Him. God sees people from a heart-perspective; He sees the good in everyone, whether they were living in the straight and narrow way or not, or whether they were rich or poor. His arms are wide open for anyone who needs an emotional and/or spiritual refuge. He says, “Come on to me you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” There lies the heart of God. This offer, extended to all, is rooted in unconditional love. He is never for division, discrimination and strife.

To those who have been turned off by the aforementioned actions (i.e. misrepresenting God for personal or socio-political agendas), please do not form your opinion about God, based on false and misguided depictions of who The Savior of the world truly is. Do not allow mis-characterizations of God to define your perception of who He is. It would be ill-advised to attribute others’ behaviors/words to identify our Creator, especially when said behaviors/words are more destructive than uplifting. God loves  you! To those who have been utilizing God’s name to foot their personal/political views, please, have the decorum to leave God out of this. Kindly stand on your own footing to defend YOUR views. God is not mocked.

Action plan: Test the spirit behind every action. Are those actions motivated by love or personal/sociopolitical gains? Are those actions building people up or tearing them down? Would The God of love applaud recurring injustices toward those He loves?

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

This past Friday was one of those long days that make you long for an ice-cold drink, while frolicking on a lounge chair  by the pool. It was such a hectic day, I didn’t get a chance to eat all day. By 4 o’clock, I was beyond ready to call it a day. When I finally walked out of the building at 8pm, knowing that I had to be in New York for a speaking engagement, I couldn’t fathom how I was going to accomplish that. As I sat in the uber, I was famished, with my head pounding with a migraine. I silently said, “God, help me make it through.” Nevertheless, I arrived there, somehow ready for the task at hand. I spoke and the audience seemed to have been inspired, which was mainly  the motivating factor in pushing through.

I was exhausted, but relieved, when I finally slid in the back of the Uber to finally go home. Normally I carry out a conversation with the driver. Given the circumstance, I thought, “I’m all talked out.” But, old habits die hard. A minute later, I hear myself asking the driver how does he like the job; that led to a pleasant conversation about his move here in the U.S. and family life. 

I had a great time at my latest book signing last Saturday! I was blessed to meet some warm and kind-hearted individuals,some of whom had already purchased and read my book. It was humbling to see their reactions as well as hear their own perspective on my book. It felt almost surreal to observe their excitement as they related specific points in my book that made the most impact on them. The surrealism I experienced is correlated with the fact that for many years I felt invisible in certain settings, whereas in other settings I was looked upon as an anomaly. Consequently, still now, realizing those in attendance were there because of me was surreal and humbling. One lesson that I was reminded of is not to underestimate where you start in life. If your present circumstances are less than desirable, it does not necessarily reflect what your future will look like. It’s a question of faith, determination, and endurance: Do you have the faith to believe you are meant for more? Are you determined to pursue what’s meant for you (i.e. your destiny)? Are you willing to endure whatever comes along without deterring you from your goals? In other words, how you begin in life doesn’t have to be how you finish… As long as you keep pushing through the hurdles.
That book signing was very different in an amazingly good way. What was a complete eye-opener for me was my understanding, as well as confirmation, of why God permitted my burn injury. Although at that very young age I trusted that God still had my best interest at heart, I could not refrain from wondering why He allowed such a tragedy to capsize my entire life, He could have easily prevented it. After the fire, many years went by without my having an answer as to why God signed off on my burn injury. But, I continued to trust Him because His word reassured me of His unwavering plans for my life: “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Slowly in the last couple years, I started noticing glimpses of such plans. And this past Saturday’s event gave me a clear understanding of why I had to endure what I went through. As I reflected on it, the conversations I had with each attendee solidified my newly-acquired insight: I was blessed to have had the privilege of meeting those wonderful people who reignited my sense of purpose to new heights, as I came to understand I survived everything for such a time as this. I was given the grace to overcome all the physical and emotional afflictions for such a time as this, so that my story may inspire, encourage, and most importantly demonstrate God’s sovereign ability to reverse even the most horrendous calamities. Nearly two decades after my burn injury, I’ve come to learn and make peace with these life lessons: 1) God honors our faith and persistence, especially when you have every reason to stop trying. 2) Sooner or later, we do arrive at a point of understanding as to the purpose behind our pain. Two days later as I was watching a sermon on television, I was reaffirmed of this realization when the pastor stated “If you move forward, God will turn your scars into stars for His glory.” We may not understand why we face our challenging situations; one thing is for sure: God can shock us big time when He reveals His master plan for our lives, even when we are hit with unimaginable tragedies.

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

Mother’s day is that special occasion where every year, around this time, we get to thank our mothers for everything they do. Mothers come in different forms though. We celebrate our mothers who brought us into this world wholeheartedly, as they’ve been with us through thick and thin. However, we would be remiss if we didn’t also celebrate those unofficial mothers who have made a mark in our lives by supporting us emotionally, physically, or otherwise. Some may have raised and loved us, while others may have nourished us back to health when they were under no obligation to do so. This Mother’s day, we also honor the mothers who had to care and provide for their offspring by themselves as single parents. Indeed, mothers do deserve to be held at the highest esteem for who and what they represent for their children and spouse! They are there for their loved ones whether they feel like it or not, whether they feel well or sick and needing to be cared for, and whether they feel happy or sad and craving some alone time. From the very beginning, mothers make a vow to care, provide, and protect their family, whatever it takes; even if it means putting themselves last on their priority list.
Hats off to all mothers out there for continually showing their love and dedication.
Happy Mother’s Day!!!

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

This past week has been a very special week. It was holy week, leading to today being Easter. For many people, Easter is a holiday where families get together to break bread and enjoy each other’s company, with the kids hunting for Easter eggs. However, for a number of us, Easter is more than just wearing our Sunday best and family time.
Easter marks the celebration of a savior who was willing to leave the comfort of His kingdom and assume human form, where He had to feel every human emotions and pain just like us. It was an uncommon sacrifice in which God the Father gave up His one and only son Jesus to come to endure tremendous atrocity for the sake of a humanity, most of which have yet to acknowledge His existence. As stated in scripture, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Jesus suffered immeasurable amount of torture such as beating, profuse shedding of His blood, and His having to carry an enormous cross that they would later use to crucify Him. That cross He carried, while being flagged, symbolized all of our wrong doings, sickness and diseases, and our challenges (past, present, and future). He then was hung on that cross, with His hands and feet nailed to that tree. Can you imagine? Nobody would ever go to such length; but there is One who did it just for you and me. Why? Because that’s how much God loves each and everyone of us! “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
This is not a fable, but a true event well-documented by witnesses (His disciples) who spent copious amount of time with Jesus during His time on earth. This is the reality of the God who created the universe and everything in it, us included. And when it comes to us, He calls us the apple of His eyes. Such reference in itself (i.e. the apple of His eyes) tells a lot about the intensity of His love for us all. It also explains why He went to the drastic measure of sending His only son to suffer a brutal death through crucifixion in order to save and give eternal life to mankind. Thus, Jesus who knew no sin came with the sole purpose of giving up His life for you and me. “Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends.”

So, that’s what many of us are celebrating this Easter Holiday: The sacrifice of the cross through the death of Jesus Christ.

What makes this event most significant is the fact that He died, but He didn’t remain in the tomb where he was laid to rest;

otherwise His death would have been just an altruistic act. What made this occurrence most relevant and beneficial to us

is that three days after His death He arose, which gave us the right to be called redeemed… Redeemed from sin and death,

thus giving us eternal life. His death and resurrection ushered us into the new era of living under  His loving grace. We get

to have access to all sorts of blessings as a result of the sacrifice that cost God a whole lot. Indeed, it is a sacrifice like no

other.

Happy Easter!!!

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

A new year has begun; with the new year comes new hope. For me, my hope is always wrapped around prayers to the sovereign One who can turn hope into reality. My prayer is for the world to learn to connect through the bond of love. I pray that the world learn the true meaning of love. By so doing, love will be lived, not just talked about. Rather than mentions of love only through words and emojis, we would see love in action in how we interact with and treat one another regardless of creed, race, and societal rank. Love will trigger compassion in us quicker than the need to find fault.

My prayer is for everybody to cultivate a great desire to seek to fully understand others and their situation rather than jump to hasty judgements that could result in emotional damages, as well as unethical treatments. One can’t begin to know how to interact with another individual unless both parties invest time in learning about each other. Otherwise they will end up forming prejudgments toward one another based on preconceived ideas, which most of the times are far from the truth. That in turn result in unfair treatments, some of which are deadly. The great Martin Luther King Jr. explained this type of predicament in these words: “I am convinced that men hate each other because they fear each other. They fear each other because they don’t know each other, and they don’t know each other because they don’t communicate with each other, and they don’t communicate with each other because they are separated from each other.”

The number one ingredient that will enable us all to come together is LOVE. The latter will bring everyone to a place where we see one another on the same level: the human level. To get there, we need to put a stop to the disillusioned belief that one’s social status and/or race make them better than the other. The reality is we are all one. The size of your bank account, your skin color, or your level of intelligence does not make you a better human being than others. A simple visit to the hospital is proof that we’re all susceptible to sickness and death, irrespective of riches, educational ranks, religion, or ethnicity. Such irrevocable truth can only bring us to this humble realization: “But for the grace of God there go I.” Also, in considering the position of those who are at a disadvantage, love would trigger a sense of not only compassion, but also gratitude, as opposed to an air of superiority and carelessness. My prayer is that we acquire the love that will make us appreciate the blessings and the ensuing privilege these blessings provide, without changing us into uncaring individuals.

The heart of the problems being reported daily in the news is a shortage of love. I pray we develop hearts of compassion, hearts that radiate pure love. Then, and only then, can we truly see the hurt of others and not just when heartaches and/or injustice come knocking on our door. We cannot afford to continue viewing unjust social occurrences (discrimination, hate crime, social inequality, or any form of injustice) only from a business/legalistic perspective. Our hearts ought to get involved in order for us not to overlook the human aspect of everything.

Give us this day love. The bible summarizes the need for this prayer very well. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3: 12-14

Give us this day love.

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

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This week is the time most of us engage in reflecting on what has been going well in our lives, the things for which we are thankful. I for one have A Lot to be grateful for; I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge my many blessings and the source of such good fortunes.

Recently on my radio show, we discussed the importance of having an attitude of gratitude. One of my suggestions was to create a personal list of gratitude, which can be revisited every so often, especially if/when encouragement is desperately needed. Also, gratitude is a must and it shouldn’t be only a yearly practice, for each day is a gift with many layers of blessings. Therefore, to follow through with my own recommendation, below are just 3 main points out of my list of gratitude.

1) Breath of life:

About two decades ago, when I was only a teenager, I found myself at death’s door as a result of a tragic fire. Having come so close to dying at such a young age, it makes it very hard for me to take my life for granted. I’m specifically appreciative for the ability to breathe on my own; during my first three months of recovery I had to rely on medical machines to do the breathing for me. So, I am 1000% thankful for the breath of life!

2) Equal Opportunity Dreaming:

I am thankful I have no restrictions as to how big I can dream. Dreaming is accessible to anyone, whether rich, poor, able-bodied, or disabl​​ed. Consequently, neither my health, socio-economic status, or my ethnic background weren’t able to prevent me from conceiving the dreams I had, even while I was bedridden in the hospital. Nobody could tell me I was too sick, too young, or too anything to dream. My dreams gave me wings… wings that enabled me to travel to the future in my mind to see myself where I aspired to be. Fast-forward a few years later, I am now given the grace to be living those dreams that were conceived during some of the darkest of times. Thank heaven for equal opportunity dreaming!

3) My relationship with Jesus:

What ties up the aforementioned points and all good things in my life is my relationship with Jesus, for which I am beyond grateful. Everything may change (i.e. health, friendships, and family). However, my close relationship with Jesus is the sustaining source that has kept me going, enabling me to soar even in times of weakness. I heavily lean on Jesus as He continues to see me through each step of my journey; knowing Him as a friend, healer, and redeemer has been a marvelous experience of discovering and rediscovering His unfailing love, mercy, grace, and faithfulness toward me. Saying that I am thankful for Jesus seems to be the understatement of the century. Therefore, I’ll just say I owe Him EVERYTHING!
Gratitude is a must. It should not only be a yearly practice, because each day is a gift with many layers of blessings. I just outlined three of the numerous things for which I am thankful. What are you grateful for today?

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

My mind has been racing in light of the recent events we’ve seen throughout the world. The gut-wrenching news of genocide, police brutality, and unnecessary killings of both civilians and police officers are the results of hatred, prejudice, and discrimination; all of these could have been prevented.  Sadly, there seems to be a sense of laissez-faire for some of these occurrences that should be an outrage to everyone. Something is deeply wrong when sympathy and empathy are present ONLY if it relates to us personally or a group to which we identify. All lives should be viewed as priceless, thus deserving of preservation. Until we all arrive to that conclusion by having a moral compass that defies race, religion, socio-economic status, gender and sexual orientations, hatred-filled actions and reactions about socio-political issues will keep rising. Once we begin to start seeing EVERYONE from a love perspective, we will start treating each other in the same manner we all would like to be treated. A simple technique that can allow us to achieve that is to put oneself in the other person’s shoes before doing anything that could be offensive in any way. For instance, prior to uttering a comment that could be interpreted as mean-spirited or offensive, ask yourself how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of it. And do your very best to answer that question truthfully. 

Below are some poignant questions I have pondered for the sake of gaining insights.

– Why is it that if we’re not the ones suffering we can’t even bring ourselves to sympathize or empathize with the one who’s undergoing trials?
– Why is it that our minds go the negative route when it comes to what another is facing (which we’re not accustomed to, because we are privileged to be free of such predicament)?
– Could it be that we are lacking in certain characteristics which are conducive to the sense of humanity needed in order to be compassionate, empathetic and sympathetic? The same way our bodies may incur a level of deficiency in certain vitamins or enzymes, which prevents adequate physical functions, one may also be deficient in certain characteristics that may prevent the development of certain humanitarian capacities (I.e. being able to see past oneself to truly see a fellow man’s struggles without making it something that it isn’t (simply to either make ourselves feel good or void of remorse)?
– Could such deficiency be the origin of the socio-political chaos and the resulting bloodshed we are witnessing worldwide? A deficiency in empathy and sympathy is bound to trigger sociopathic mindsets, which in turn leads to sociopathic behaviors.
We owe it to ourselves to ponder these questions as a means to rectify any character deficiencies that are potentially harmful to those around us, as well as the broader communities within which we interact.
Doing that is one way to contribute to change in our world; the more sensible we become toward others, the greater chance we have at eliminating hatred, violence, and injustice in our world. Also, being willing to speak up about unlawful actions/treatments against our fellow men is another means to bring about social reform. As per Albert Einstein’s words, “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” In other words, we should not look away when we are witnessing another person or group’s suffering and any injustice inflicted upon them. Speaking of injustice, no injustice goes unnoticed to the ruler of heaven and earth, because He cares about ALL of mankind (not just some). Aside from injustice and speaking up about it, doing something at whatever capacity may jumpstart some form of societal change, even if it takes place only in one’s community. For instance, change can be reached within oneself through learning about other cultures, which could prevent misconceptions, prejudice, racism, and discrimination. The point is to do something to contribute to the betterment of interrelationships in our society. 
These minimal efforts are sure to show us a different perspective… others’ perspective of our words/actions. Compassion will be imminent whenever we utilize these methods; they will trigger healthier communion with one another.
It’s time for us to try something new. What we’ve been doing has only led to mutual hurt, chaos, and unnecessary bloodshed. It’s time to stop looking away in the presence of injustice deemed irrelevant to us. As the great Maya Angelou stated, “When we know better, we do better”. Let us learn more productive ways to communicate and collaborate with each other, so we may leave a better legacy to the generations to come. All this can be achieved when we look to the One who is greater than all of us:
“If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land” 2 Chronicle 7:14

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

          Aside from the nine months of arduous pregnancy, a mother’s roles expand from her children’s births to her last breath. From the moment she learns she is expecting a baby, the mother makes an undying vow to love, care for, and protect her child, no matter their age.

      As for love, a mother’s love goes so deep and is shown in so many ways, at times it may be interpreted as constant nagging. In fact, it’s only her love that is being manifested through worries, which may generate repetitive questions and lectures. A mother’s fountain of love drives her to ensure her children’s well-being and safety at all times. As for care, a mother’s innate desire to provide the best of care to her offspring transcends time, age, and location. Taking away her ability to care for them is like amputating the legs of a professional track runner. As for protection, a mother will endure all sorts of pain, mistreatment, and humiliation silently in order to preserve peace and happiness in her children’s lives.

      The list of sacrifices and acts of love and devotion is innumerable, as it increases with each passing day. Hence the reason why the gift of a mother is so priceless. However, it is imperative to strive to repay her with tokens of appreciation every chance we get to do so. The beauty of it all is that the gifts a mother craves the most from her children have no monetary values. Some of the things a mother longs for, but hardly ever asks for include:

1. Time: Spending quality time with the person who gave you life, while allocating her your undivided attention… Even if she is telling a story you’ve heard a million times.
2. Call: A simple call from her child brightens her day in ways material gifts could never accomplish.
3. Priority: Unexpected and unwarranted gestures show her that she is a cherished priority; that in turn makes her feel special.

      These simple things alone brings her immesurable joy. The only time we have is now. Do what you must today: enjoy, appreciate, and pour love on that gift, the gift of a mother.

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

       Sometimes unexpected opportunities come our way; and coupled with the shock of such occurrence is intimidation. There is nothing wrong with being intimidated by something, but allowing that to turn into crippling fear (which often leads to inaction) is. If you allow fear to stop you, you might end up missing out on what could have been an amazing and life-changing prospect.

       I decided to address that topic due to a recent experience I had. My being a psychologist and author were dreams that I nurtured and worked hard toward accomplishing. While I still kept aspiring for more upon achieving these two goals, certain things simply didn’t make the cut, in terms of my objectives. One thing I never consider is having my own radio show, because just thinking about it would have created high- level anxiety for me, given that any type of public speaking is quite intimidating to me. Consequently, when I was granted the great opportunity to host a radio show, though I was excited and grateful, I panicked at the thought of actually hosting a LIVE radio show that could be heard around the world. In light of the potential benefits of the show, I took on the challenge even though I was becoming more and more anxious as the start date drew near. Fast-forward a few weeks after I began the show, I came to notice its usefulness, thus prompting me to think about how I could have forfeited that opportunity, had I allowed my fear to take precedence.

        If we were to count the things we convinced ourselves we couldn’t do, because of this reason or that restriction, the number would probably be alarming. It’s amazing how one can justify their decision to not pursue certain potentially rewarding offers and dreams/goals, on the account of what would appear to be reasonable causes. I refer to these cases as logical excuses (and I’m not excluding myself) because we’ve all done it at one point or another. Oftentimes it is the result of fear… Fear of not measuring up, fear of failure, and even fear of success. That last one may be hard to imagine. However, there is such a thing as being afraid to succeed due to what success would require of the person.

        Sometimes what is sometimes required of you may not be what you aspired to do in the first place. But, just because you didn’t aspire to go into a particular field/career (or what have you) does not mean it’s off-limits to you. You might not have wanted to go that route, but that does not imply you can’t do it, nor does it mean it was not part of the plans for your life. If an opportunity presents itself to you and it seems to be legitimate, as well as potentially beneficial, you owe it to yourself to at least consider it without letting doubt or fear decide for you.

       Don’t allow fear to make you run from what could be part of your destiny. Rather than being paralyzed by fear and not venture into a new journey, it is more advantageous to try it even when you are plagued with doubt and fear. Show fear who’s the boss and do it afraid. Before long, you’ll see that what seemed to be so scary isn’t that scary anymore.

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

      Oftentimes the definition of love seems to be so vague. It is regularly confused with other things (i.e. lust or infatuation) that are far from being love. I am fortunate to have experienced love in the true sense of the term. That wonderful love is shown to me over and over, sometimes in big gestures and other times in the smallest gestures that also means a great deal to me. The last couple months have been challenging health-wise. As a result of a burn injury, I contend with chronic pain on a daily basis, though some days are worse than others. When you deal with some form of pain day in and day out, it becomes an intrinsic part of your life. I consequently have to make decision about going out based on the level of pain on those particular days. When the pain is too intense, I sometimes have to stay home in order not to exacerbate my condition; that involves postponing scheduled outings with family and friends. It’s a shame to say that people who should know better sometime show a lack of compassion, resulting in my regretting ever mentioning my health issues at all. That and the constant pain resulted in deep sadness, which I kept to myself. I could see the effects of that overwhelming chagrin in my inability to be excited about events that I normally would be exhilarated about; I also noticed it in my lackadaisical attitude toward typically enjoyable activities. The culminating effects of it all have been isolation and a sense of loneliness from not being able to socialize that much.

      Fortunately, as I grapple with the increased pain, I see love in action through my husband. When the pain gets so intense, getting out of bed to go to the kitchen or the bathroom is a dreadful thought. But my darling husband has been beyond attentive to my needs, constantly asking me if he could do anything, get me something to eat or drink, or go and buy something at the pharmacy to ease the pain. I could see his genuine care and some sense of powerlessness. He is truly a gift from God. I’m thankful for having the privilege of experiencing true love in action, which makes me love my husband even more. Our love isn’t one of those glamorized story, but it’s a pure love that money can’t buy.

      To those who are still waiting and longing to meet that special someone, take heart. The one who is meant for you has already been reserved for you. When that time comes, you won’t have to work hard at presenting a perfect persona, which would be an absurd attempt given that none of us is perfect. Everything will fall into place when you meet that person who is predestined to be your valentine. As you await your true love, celebrate yourself and all you have to offer!

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

It’s that time of the year when a great number of people are still holding on to their resolutions. We often take pride in accomplishing our goals/resolutions solely on our own strengths. But our own efforts can only go so far.

It never hurts to have a sustaining resource from which to obtain whatever is required to conquer our resolutions or any task at hand. The source I heavily rely on is God, through His son Jesus. When I think some task is so straight forward that I can get it done on my own, I am reminded of my insufficiency once I get stuck and frustrated. The opposite always happens when I look to that Infinite Power to accomplish any goal I set for myself.

Why not resolve to lean on The Power greater than yourself to achieve your resolutions this year and the ones to come? Having a trustworthy ally to whom you can be accountable is also a plus. There’s amazing strength in knowing you’re not alone in endeavoring a challenging journey. One reason for that is we are not fashioned to be alone. In other words, we have an innate desire for having people around us, whether it’s for their sheer presence, their active support or both. A resolution without a strong foundation is more likely to fail when the going gets tough. This year, why not modify your strategies by not leaning only “on your own understanding”. A quick prayer for divine help always works; so does asking loved ones for their support. To a successful year of attaining your goals, dreams and resolutions!

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

The holidays (from Thanksgiving to Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and New Year’s) are undoubtedly some of the most joyous times of the year. The excitement of spending quality time with loved ones, coupled with giving and receiving gifts, are priceless memories of a lifetime. Yet, it is the opposite for many people. While some eagerly await this time of the year, others dread its arrival because it is a loud reminder of their loneliness. The holidays for someone who has no family and friends to celebrate with are torturous, as it makes them face their predicament head on, with no way to avoid it. They are reminded of it everywhere they go, with holiday decorations in the streets and at every store, as well as Christmas shows/movies on almost every channel. As a result, they cannot wait for the season to be behind them.

If you are fortunate enough to have family and friends with whom you celebrate, don’t take it for granted. If you have lost some loved ones along the way, hold the ones you still have in your life a little tighter. Be grateful for them and cherish their presence more than the gifts you will interchange.

Tis the season to share the joy and blessings with those who are alone and those who can’t afford to engage in gift exchanges and lavish meals. Tis the season to reach out to the less fortunate (such as the homeless, impoverished families, and senior citizens) through a genuine conversation, a small gift (i.e. a cup of coffee and/or a meal), or simply a smile. “We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do” (Mother Teresa). Tis the season to share the love of The One who was born on this season to save us all.

Merry Christmas! Happy Kwanza! Happy Hanukkah!

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

          Upon hearing of someone facing such dire predicament as losing a loved one or fighting for their life, I can’t help but feel bad for them and their loved ones, as it is far from being an easy situation. I empathize with them because years ago I too was fighting for my life. So I struggle with not internalizing the troublesome headlines regarding brutal attacks, murder and abuse of power. I carry the grief of those affected by the reported tragedies; I also share their anguish in situations that are direct results of injustice.

          While many people are able to empathize with victims of accidents or natural disasters, it has been disconcerting to witness others’ insensitivity toward the demise of those in crisis. That applies to taking other people’s lives due to dissatisfaction in life or discrimination. No matter what anyone has done, it does not justify murdering them, as every life is precious. It is also inhumane to shoot a person or beat them to death due to their ethnicity and/or social rank. Whether the perpetrator is an authority figure or a civilian, it is unfair to have no consideration for another’s life.  In such instances, compassion seems to be nonexistent. In reading news reports about any tragedy, I am dumbfounded to see the comments, most of which are ridicules and insults toward the person(s) facing the tragedy. That triples when they are celebrities, who happen to be fellow human beings with the same feelings we all have (fear, hurt, and shame etc.). Somehow it becomes acceptable to speak of another individual facing a calamity in a derisive manner, with no concern as to what that person and their family must be going through in the moments following their tragedy. It was sad to read the comments following the news reports in a recent event. When one commentator suggested a bit of compassion toward the individual in question, one of the responses was “Save your compassion for someone who deserves it”. Everyone is deserving of compassion. We would all be wiped out long ago if it weren’t for God’s compassion toward us.

          What’s alarming is that the scarcity of sensitivity seems to go unnoticed. The decline in compassion is scary because it seems to have become very easy to cross over to the other side and stop caring without even realizing it; that is a sobering thought. Life could be so much easier and simpler if we were to sympathize and “laugh with those who are laughing, and mourn with those who are mourning”. Uplifting one another would benefit us more than tearing one another down, especially in times of crisis. A little love goes a long way. Love can bridge the gap between different views, race, religion, and socioeconomic status. In dealing with others, love can make us see a human being as opposed to a poor person, one who’s uneducated (or not educated enough), the color of their skin, or their level of popularity/fame etc. Love enables us to see beyond an individual’s undesirable actions to empathize with them. Love forces us to want to know all the facts before making any assumptions about our fellow men. Love prompts us to pray for a complete stranger as we drive pass an accident site, because it is a person whose loved ones would be devastated if they were to lose them. With love we see the person before everything else.

“Let my heart break for the things that break the heart of God”

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

           Every year I joyfully attend a women’s retreat, which never fails in helping me regroup. This year I not only got to regroup, but I also gained revolutionary insights about some personal storms I’ve been facing. I’m choosing to blog about it in the hopes that it would help others who are having similar experiences.

          The said personal storms involved my experience with a number of broken relationships. I was blindsided almost every time; all I kept thinking was “I thought we were okay?” Though things were going wonderfully for me in certain areas, the last few years have been emotionally taxing in this particular area. I’ve watched some friendships/relationships I deemed to be solid abruptly turn sour. These situations left me feeling hurt, disappointed, betrayed, and (to be honest) bitter. However, I made it a point to constantly run to the Father to ask him to rid me of all unforgiveness. According to the speaker at the retreat, “Bitterness is to rehearse something in your mind over and over. If you feel it when you talk about a past hurt, that’s bitterness.” On the other hand, “Forgiveness is to give up the wish to get even.” As I was listening to the speaker, it dawned on me that bitterness is as harmful as unforgiveness. Bitterness is not only toxic to one’s health, but it can be a distraction as well. When we are facing heartaches, our ability to function (in terms of tending to our daily duties) may be limited as a result. Therefore, distraction due to heartaches and feelings of bitterness becomes an enemy that keeps us in bondage; it also prevents us from fulfilling what we are called to do in life.

          Another aspect of the revolutionary insights I gained is my coming to terms with the hurt I experienced from people I loved and respected. I kept allowing others to emotionally abuse me through hurtful words, innuendos, and belittling (either subtly or not so subtly). One of the reasons is that I’m not one for confrontation, especially with people I care about. The other reason is that I tend to sweep others’ offenses toward me under the rug, which becomes a viscous cycle. While I can stand up for myself if a stranger offends me, it’s a whole other story with those for whom I care, because I cherish my relationships with friends and family. For the longest time, my way of dealing with being hurt by those I love was to cry my eyes out. In the meantime nothing gets resolved and the cycle continues. But, lately the increasingly blatant carelessness and disregard for my feelings began to wear my patience thin. As stated by T.D. Jakes, “There’s no relationship without reciprocity.” Therefore, I had to walk away from situations/relationships in which I was being made to feel devalued, while I continually strived to uplift, support, and respect everyone. It has been a painful but necessary decision to face such uncharted territory of parting with hurt-provoking associations. I made this choice as a means to preserve my self-worth. One of the breakthrough-statements of the speaker at the retreat was when you’re not emotionally strong (or depressed), you easily give others permission to mistreat you. I then made the connection with how I kept accepting the unnecessary disrespect and dismissive attitude from a number of individuals.

          It all boils down to one principle: “Know thyself”. Knowing oneself helps in refuting all statements that do not portray one’s true self. The speaker relayed the story about a man named Shimei who despised King David. David failed to remember who he was, based on what his creator instilled in him. Consequently, he began to agree with and went so far as repeating Shimei’s negative declarations about him (2 Samuel 16). When you know who you are in Christ, you don’t have to accept mistreatment, belittling, or accusation of any sort. Although the process had begun prior to the retreat, the speaker’s message reinforced and sealed my decision to value myself enough not to permit anyone to debase me. So, I left all the hurt up on that mountain, choosing to live in the freedom Christ died to give me. I most likely will face offenses again, but I don’t have to let it crush me to the point of carrying the burden of bitterness and unforgiveness. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” Philippians 3: 13

Action plan: If you’ve had similar experiences, ask God to help you to let go of any bitterness and resentment/unforgiveness incurred due to past offenses. Also, address the emotional hurt you have inflicted on anyone. Finally, resist the urge to ruminate on past/present offenses by remaining focused on what is positive and productive.

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

       As school is getting ready to begin, I can’t help but think of the issue of bullying. It is an overwhelming problem that many students face alone, sometimes resulting in harming themselves or even suicide. That’s how horrific the situation has escalated into in the last few years. I must bracket here that bullying does take place in other settings, such as the workplace, social settings, relationships, and sadly even in church settings. The dictionary defines a bully as a person who hurts, persecutes, or intimidates weaker people. Whenever you use force or scare tactics to intimidate someone, you are a bully. The individual being bullied often sinks into despair due to the fact that they not only feel helpless, but they are also convinced no one can help them either. The bully makes sure the one who is bullied think they can’t seek help, for the bully insinuates they would make the life of the bullied even more miserable; hence the sense of helplessness and hopelessness of the bullied.

Dear bully,

       This world can be so cruel. A lot of times you contribute to the emotional pain of someone who’s already struggling with either personal problems at home or other hardships you’re not even aware they are facing. You contribute to that kind of cruelty under the guise that “you’re joking”. If both parties aren’t laughing, it’s not funny. Your insensitivity can cause long-term damages to the other person’s self-esteem, thus preventing them from fully achieving their God-given potentials. Even worst, they may be crushed for life and unable to function at all because they internalized your callous and insensitive teasing. Are you prepared to live with the fact that your bullying could emotionally unravel another human being so badly that they become a shell of a person? Your tongue is a small part of your body which has the ability to disintegrate an individual physically and emotionally. Imagine yourself in the shoes of the person you’ve been bullying for just a moment. How does it feel? You feel small, isolated with nobody to confide in, and hopeless (just to name a few)? Multiply that by 100, based on the length of time the bullied has endured bullying from different people/situations. Before you do or say anything to another person, ask yourself how you would feel if the roles were reversed. If it doesn’t feel pleasant to you, then refrain from doing or saying it to someone else. Be mindful of how you treat others, because we all have to answer for everything we’ve done here on earth. Do unto others as you would like to be done unto you. And guess what, dear bully, it takes much more energy to be unkind and unpleasant than to be nice and respectful of others (no matter their socio-economic background or physical appearance). You should try being kind. Who knows, you might like it and even be happier! Underneath your condescending attitude lay great attributes that can be more beneficial to you and those around you. You CAN do better. This year, start fresh by exploring the goods you have in you!

Dear bullied,

You are not alone in your battle with bullies. Most importantly, there is nothing wrong with you. Don’t allow anybody’s obnoxious behavior to make you think it’s normal or that you deserve that type of treatment. You deserve the same amount of respect as everyone else, because you are valuable. In the words of singer Mandisa, “You’re worth more than gold”; don’t let anyone or circumstance make you think otherwise. As a matter of fact, your bully might have seen something in you that he/she would have liked to have himself/herself, prompting them to tease you as a form of retaliation. You’re probably thinking “What could I possibly have that they’d want?”. A lot of the times, you’re not even aware of the qualities that make you the unique and wonderful individual you are. In the meantime, dear bullied, your bully may simply be projecting their insecurities on you, just to make you feel as bad as they may be feeling deep down inside. The misguided bully says” “You’re ugly”, “You’re not good enough”, and so on and so forth. Your creator who truly knows you says: “You are precious in my sight”, “You are loved”, “You are beautiful”, “You are more than a conqueror”, “You can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength”. Therefore, dear bullied, hold your head up and stand your ground against bullies. The bullies know it will all be over once you speak up or stand up to them; they will take notice and think twice before harassing you again. The world would be less bright without the many things you have to offer. Believe in yourself so you can start using the great qualities you possess. Don’t carry any resentment toward your oppressors; that will only hold you captive to the past. Go and conquer the world with fierceness. You can do it!

A beautiful soul that is reflected in one’s behavior and treatment of others is a prized possession worth acquiring. We should all aspire to Socrates’ own desire: “Grant that I may be beautiful inside. Let all my external possessions be in friendly harmony with what is within”.

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

Let’s start the conversation on this important issue. Share your comment below.

          Nowadays many of our lives resemble a battlefield, where we are bombarded by seemingly endless trials on top of trials. While one trial is ongoing, yet another one surfaces, leaving us mentally dizzy and gasping for air. To top it all off, our world seems to be going on a downward spiral; heart-wrenchingly gruesome news have become a frequent occurrence. Horrific world news in conjunction with personal hardships can weigh so heavily on our hearts that it makes us wonder if it will ever get better. Also, when you determine to take the high road and pursue anything good to better your life and that of loved ones, that is when you experience opposition the most. These trials and oppositions may be overwhelming at one point or another. Still, you ought to resolve to keep on keeping on, because you can’t reach your goals if you allow obstacles to halt your progress. Failure is only possible if you choose to give up. Don’t give up on your dreams and don’t give in to the challenges you encounter. Your dreams/goals are too valuable for you to throw in the towel after a few, or even many, unsuccessful attempts. It takes hard work, perseverance, and determination to achieve anything good:

         “No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer. Similarly, anyone who competes as an athlete does not receive the victor’s crown except by competing according to the rules. The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops.” 2 Timothy 2: 4-6

          It certainly isn’t easy to face roadblocks, sometimes from every angle, but hold on. There are much better days ahead. You might think: “Easier said than done”, but you can and will overcome. You could even use the stumbling blocks you are facing as stepping stones to fuel your passion for whatever your aspiration(s) may be. So stand firm in facing any obstacles life throws your way. Many of the great men and women (past or present) who made a mark in life had to endure a series of difficulties, failures and rejections before attaining success. As long as you are here on planet earth, you are bound to experience obstacles, sorrow, hardships, prejudice, and rejection etc. What is vitally important is how you respond to these stimuli. You can either cave in to the tumultuous moments or face them head on by refusing to succumb under such circumstances. When you choose to push through, you will be amazed by the innate level of strength you possess. The following quote sums it quite well: “You are stronger than you seem, braver than you believe, and smarter than you think you are.” So, give yourself a little more credits as to what you can overcome, no matter how dire it may be. Hold on. Soon you’ll begin to notice the silver lining.

Louise Beaubrun=Macaluso, PhD

Kindly post any comment below.

Blatant or subtle displays of hate and mistreatment, through either negative words, action/inaction, or perception often triggers a natural desire to retaliate. Any one of us instinctively wants to lash out when somebody hurts or mistreats us, because we for some reason feel it would alleviate the emotional pain caused by that individual. However, that type of reaction seldom solves the problem. In fact, it is more likely to add fuel to the fire, rendering the situation worse off than when it began. That in turn leaves us ten times more frustrated, with no solution in sight. Another option in dealing with offenses is to cultivate:

-The character to remain grounded in love by not allowing the hurt to make us behave out of character.

-The character to remain understanding when sensitivity seems to be nonexistent.

-The character to remain true to yourself and your beliefs without wavering, especially under pressure.

-The character to remain loving toward anyone whose attitude is everything but loving.

In the end, even if we’re left disappointed and hurt, our conscience will be clear for having the character to remain kind and behaving in ways that pleases our heavenly Father. Having a clear conscience will generate peace even in the midst of turmoil.

“But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened. But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” 1 Peter 3: 14-16

Meekness, kindness, and love are the antidote to hostility, hate, division, and violence. Dare to have the character to remain meek, kind, and loving in the face of the aforementioned issues. Don’t allow anyone’s negative attitude and behavior to make you adopt their choice of treatment of others (i.e. rudeness, inconsideration, discrimination, and hatred). It is best to choose love. Having the character to remain loving will always outweigh any unpleasant comportment.

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

Feel free to share your comment below.

Nowadays we are bombarded by societal suppositions as to the ideal traits one should possess. These beliefs are often portrayed by means of television, magazines, and social networks. One such concept is that we have to be extra skinny with specific features that would “qualify” us as worthy of any type of attention. Another one is social status (i.e. financial position, who we know, and/or education level). While these criteria may be good aspirations, they are far from being what makes us who we are. We tend to slowly embrace a view of ourselves based on either our circumstance(s) or what others make us out to be. Our past or present situations do not determine or dictate who we truly are.

When it comes to social perceptions, how can you rely on the views of people who barely know you or those who only know you in the abstract to define yourself? The core of who you are (i.e. your heart, your perspective on life, and goals etc.) is unknown to them. Therefore, whatever their perception of you (or what/who they think you may be) isn’t grounded enough to make you forget who your creator made you to be. You are much more than your looks, your credentials, or socio-economic status. Don’t get lost in the surface of who you are. People from whom you least expect it will turn against you, think the worst of you, and even attempt to tarnish your reputation. It is up to you to remember who God created you to be. How about starting an adventure to get to know your true self, with all your genuine qualities and talents that accurately reflect who your maker says you are? Your creator who is fully aware of the values He instilled in you says you are “fearfully and wonderfully made”! He has equipped you with everything you need within you to pursue your dreams, function as who you are made to be, and succeed.

Action plan: Let go of any negative perception of yourself based on socio-cultural views. Begin to accept and love yourself… your true self.

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

As I was recovering from surgery these past couple weeks, I kept thinking of how precious the gift of health is. Being healthy without aches, pain, or discomfort isn’t something we think about so often. Most of us even have a sense of entitlement when it comes to being in perfect health. Some of us have no concept of what it is like to be deprived of a healthy and ailment-free life… until we are struck by a sudden illness that leaves us perplexed as to such unexpected course of event. Only then do we began to see how precious a good health truly is. Take it from someone who has experienced both health and sickness: Do whatever is humanly possible to preserve your health. Take the necessary measures: eat well, exercise, rest well through healthy sleeping habits, and cultivate a heart and soul free of hindering toxins. Such toxins as anger, resentment/unforgiveness, stress and worries, and bitterness etc. can rage war on your body. Some health issues (accident or natural disasters) may be inevitable; but do everything you can to prevent the preventable ones. Cherish your health, don’t take it for granted, and fight to preserve it as much as you can. Ask anyone who’s sick, they’ll tell you that they wish they had taken better care of themselves. Don’t wait to appreciate your health until you don’t have it. Our body is a temple; it ought to be treated sacredly in order to live an enjoyable life, void of sickness.

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

      As typical human beings, we all like things to go our way. That often leads to our thinking we are right about most things, if not all things. That erroneous concept is what the division-focus force (some calls it Satan, the enemy, or the devil) utilizes as its main tool. That divisive spirit counts on us to believe that whatever idea we have of somebody is true. If we think it, it must be accurate… Not necessarily. For those of us who became Christians by accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior, the bible calls us righteous by faith. That means God Himself deems us to be righteous because of our faith, and nothing else. However, just because we are righteous by God’s standard doesn’t imply we are right all the time. After all, we are still humans, prone to error. Just because we feel or think that so and so has done wrong in a particular situation doesn’t make it a reality. Once the divisive force has set the stage for a false portrayal that seems to be as accurate as the earth being round, he then relies on us to judge ourselves and others with two different measuring cups. As pastor Joseph Prince so rightly pointed out “We judge others by their actions. We judge ourselves by our intentions”. The accuser of the brethren is sneaky enough to make certain events or behaviors appear to be exactly what he wants us to think about another person.

      All this to divide and conquer. That’s the enemy’s ultimate goal, because he knows we are stronger united than divided. Once each of us is isolated, without mutual support, he’s able to gain more grounds to defeat us one by one. The divisive force’s plan: divide and conquer. How about we adopt a better plan for our lives: unite and conquer? We can be a lot more productive when we join hands, as opposed to trying to make it out on our own or coming against one another. Making our love for one another more valuable than a random thought planted in our mind is the most effective weapon to become or remain united conquerors. “Love conquers all”. Let’s unite and conquer!

Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso, PhD

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